


Say You Love Me

by justjaeyong



Series: In My Veins [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, JaeYong - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 19:13:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9562700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justjaeyong/pseuds/justjaeyong
Summary: Sometimes love is just not enough especially when the timing isn’t right.“He has loved you for a long time… but I guess he just couldn’t wait any longer.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello! This is my first NCT fanfic and the first fanfic I've written after some time. This hasn't been betad or edited so there might be some mistakes. An explanation is also included down there in case you get confused. I really hope you guys enjoy this story it took me some time to finish it and I'm just really happy that I'll be able to post it now. Please let me know what you think in the comments below so maybe I could improve this story more and my writing as well. Enjoy!
> 
> Please do listen to Jessie Ware's Say You Love Me while reading ^^

Jaehyun’s eyes were caught by him the minute Jaehyun walked in the room. His pale skin, soft-looking lips and dark warm eyes just left the younger lad breathless. Never in his whole life has Jaehyun seen someone as beautiful as the stranger before him, not even when he lived in America.

Jaehyun was introduced to the other trainees including the beautiful man who he found out was called Taeyong. Taeyong was two years older than him and has been a trainee for almost a year now.

Among the other trainees, Taeyong is the one he admires the most, not just because of his good looks, but because of his personality as well. As they trained together, Jaehyun found out that though Taeyong might look cold and strong, he was nowhere near it, but rather the complete opposite, for Taeyong is a clumsy yet very affectionate guy.

Jaehyun became close with the other trainees like Ten, Yuta and Johnny, but he was closest to Taeyong. His Taeyong hyung would always take care of him and Jaehyun appreciates it a lot. He will always be the one helping the younger when he couldn’t keep up with what was being taught to them. Sometimes, he would also offer Jaehyun water or treat him food after a long hard day of practice. He even told Jaehyun once, _“if you need anything do not hesitate to ask me. Unless it is homework, you really cannot count me on that.”_

 

 

A year passed by and the two became much closer and more inseparable. Johnny along with the other trainees would often tease them, but they would just laugh it off saying, _“there is nothing going on.”_ What the older one doesn’t realize was that every time they deny the accusations, the younger would always wonder _“why can’t we?”_

From the fluttering of his heart whenever he hears Taeyong’s voice, to the uncontrollable blushing of his face every time they touch, it wasn’t hard for Jaehyun to realize that he has fallen for his hyung. It is true he has never felt love before, but he knows what he feels for the elder is indeed love.

 

Jaehyun’s classes just ended and he was on his way back walking along the corridors of his school, but abruptly stopped when a girl coughing flower petals ran passed him. Jaehyun’s eyes widen as realization of what the girl was going through hit him. It is quite known that people who are suffering from one-sided love would experience the _“hanahaki disease._ ” The so-called sickness could be cured through operation and medication, but once it’s all done you would not feel anything towards the person you used to love. Jaehyun thinks it’s very tragic and immediately felt bad for the girl. He, himself knows how hard it is when the person you love does not share the same feelings. Jaehyun sighed sadly at the thought and pulled the strap of his backpack before continuing his walk home.

He was a block away from their building when another realization hit him. It has been awhile since he found out he is in love with his hyung, but not once did a petal came out from . Jaehyun could not help but smile and feel hopeful. _‘Maybe there is something there,’_ he thought to himself.

“Jaehyunnie,” a very familiar voice called out the moment he entered the practice room. The person whom the voice belongs to started running towards him and soon he was pulled to an embrace.

“What took you so long?” Taeyong asked as he moved to Jaehyun’s side with one of his arms hanging around the latter’s shoulder, “you’re supposed to be back thirty minutes ago.”

“Yeah Jaehyun what took you so long? Taeyong’s been asking for you and couldn’t even sit still.” Yuta teased.

Jaehyun turned to look at his hyung with a smile plastered on his face. The elder can feel his cheeks turning red because of the way the younger was looking at him. “Shut up Nakamoto!” Taeyong said then playfully pushed Jaehyun away. “Just get changed already you have a lot of catching up to do.”

Jaehyun let out a chuckle before doing what he was told. _“_ Maybe… _one day he’ll realize.”_

 

 

It’s almost eight in the evening yet the boys are still stuck in their practice room. A showcase was planned for the SM Rookies and it will be happening in a week causing everyone to be on edge wanting their first performance to be perfect from start to finish. They’ve been practicing non-stop since nine in the morning and only took short breaks to eat or go to the bathroom.

“I think this is enough for today,” one of their trainers said. “You guys stay here for a while and rest. We already ordered food for you so wait for it here then go back to your dorm after eating, understood?”

The group of young boys nod their heads and started looking for their own places in the practice room to rest. Jaehyun found himself sitting on the floor, his head leaning back to the mirrored wall with his eyes closed. Ever since Jaehyun became a trainee, today was probably one of the hardest and longest days he’s ever had. was sore from singing while his back and feet were hurting as well. He is stoke for their upcoming performance, but all these preparations are just too much for him to handle. _‘Just hang in a little longer Jae,’_ he thought to himself. ' _You wanted this your whole life and you’re so close to it.'_

Though his eyes wee closed, Jaehyun can feel someone’s presence near him. He can sense the unknown person sitting beside him then soon laid his head on Jaehyun’s lap. Jaehyun opened his left eye and peeked down to see a familiar mop of brown hair.

“Hyung?”

“Hyung’s tired Jaehyunnie,” Taeyong said with his soft yet husky voice. His eyes were closed and his arms were crossed ver his chest. “Please let hyung sleep for a while.”

Jaehyun smiled at the older lad’s childish behavior. He was even talking in third person. Jaehyun brushed his fingers along Taeyong’s hair and started humming.

“Jaehyun.” Taeyong called out, still with his eyes closed.

“Hmm?”

“Promise me we’ll make it together.”

“What do you mean hyung?” Jaehyun asked confused to what Taeyong just said. His fingers still running through the older one’s hair.

“That we’ll debut and perform on the same stage together,” Taeyong replied. “Promise me Jae.”

Jaehyun smiled at the thought of him and Taeyong fulfilling their dreams together, “we will hyung, I promise.”

Unbeknownst to the two, a pair of eyes from across the room was watching their small moment.

 

 

Time passed by like a blur and a lot has changed for the rookies. Their first show was a success and the group gained more fans and had a couple more shows after. As soon as the new year hits, two new members were introduced to them. It was difficult to adjust at first since there was a language barrier between them and the new Chinese members, but they still managed anyway. A “graduation” for the rookies was also held to which selected fans attended. It was overwhelming for Jaehyun to think that their days as trainees is shortly coming to an end.

Before any of them could realize the first sub-unit will be making its debut soon. It was announced that the six members who will be part of the group were Taeyong, Jaehyun, Doyoung, Ten, Mark and Taeil. Jaehyun was so excited to be in the same group with his hyung and other friends. After years of countless breakdowns and endless practices, their hard work has finally paid off.

From the moment the CEO announced their group to the world, to recording their debut song, learning the choreography and filming their first music video, everything just feels surreal to Jaehyun.

Today the new group is filming, “On Air NCT Show” with one of their seniors, Heechul of Super Junior. They were asked to fill up their profiles and it was Jaehyun who was chosen to do his for the first episode. The six of them were nervous at first, but with Heechul’s funny remarks everyone started calming down and later on the studio was filled with laughter coming from both the members and staff.

A lot of questions about himself were asked from his name, birthday, height and weight. The other members were helping him answer as well by giving their own suggestions. When asked what his best physical feature is, Jaehyun answered his hands while the others suggested his lips, hair and even his skin. What he didn’t expect was his Taeyong hyung’s answer.

_“Nice skin, great body, y.”_

Jaehyun tried best not to blush as the group erupted into laughter.  It was weird hearing those words come out from his hyung but he cannot deny that it made his heart beat fast. When asked to choose from the given answers, he decided to stick with Taeyong’s answer.

 

 

After months of preparation they are finally having their debut stage and they will be performing live on Music Bank. They have performed numerous times before but this one right now is more special compared to the others. This will be their first performance as NCT-U and not as SMRookies. Today’s the first time they will perform their own song and dance their own choreography and not their senior’s or anyone else. Jaehyun would be lying if he says he is not nervous for what they are about to do is truly nerve-racking. 

They were about to go on stage when Taeyong noticed the latter standing by the corner and slowly approached him. “Jae you okay?” Taeyong asked. The younger’s eyes widen when he looked at him, Jaehyun took a deep breath and nods his head, but Taeyong wasn’t convinced. He knows the younger enough to know the inner turmoil he is suffering from right now.

“Don’t worry much okay? We’ve been preparing for months, we’ll be fine.” Taeyong whispered as he took Jaehyun’s hand in his, gave it a light squeeze and smiled.

The warm soft hands holding his, matched with a reassuring smile helped Jaehyun calm a bit. He squeezed the older one’s hand back letting him know that he’s alright. Soon with hands still clasped together, both went on stage not letting go of one another.

 

Their two songs “The 7th Sense” and “Without U” have been getting a lot of good feedbacks from fans all over the world. They were all having a great time and enjoying the new stardom they have. But just when things were going great, Taeyong’s past came haunting him back.

Taeyong admits he’s made a lot of mistakes when he was young. He was dumb, stupid and simply selfish, but that was before. He’s tried his best and did all he could to change and be a better person. This is why he cannot understand why people are suddenly brining his dark past back. It was a very shameful part of Taeyong’s life that he just wants to forget yet they’re not letting him move on. How many times should he ask for forgiveness? How many times should he say he is sorry? What’s done is done and he has atoned for his sins, what more do they want from him?

Everyone could see how miserable Taeyong has been since the issue resurfaced. The once smiley Taeyong became gloomy and quiet. Jaehyun was torn seeing his hyung that way for he’s not used to seeing him so sad and fragile. What made it worse for Jaehyun is that he doesn’t know how he could help the elder. Taeyong has always been there for him, but now that the latter needs him the most he couldn’t even do anything.

 

Jaehyun was lying on his bed staring blankly at the ceiling. From his bed he could hear Mark’s soft snores, he turned his phone on and checked the time, 2:56 am. The group decided to sleep early that night for they will be having a hectic schedule the next day and will be needing all the rest they could get, which only means that he’s been lying on his bed for hours now. Giving up on catching some sleep, Jaehyun quietly tiptoed his way out of the bedroom.

As he walked in to the living room he was surprised to see a certain someone sitting on the couch alone by himself.

When the others decided to go to bed, Taeyong thought it would be a good moment for him to be alone for a while. Ever since the news about his past came out everything became… _suffocating_. All eyes were on him, judging every detail and every move. It’s obvious they’re waiting for him to make another mistake so they could talk about him once more. The radio interviews they have just make it worse for him, asking him to tell the story over and over again as if people haven’t heard of it yet. He’s been sitting on the couch for hours contemplating on what’s been happening in his life-what he should do, how he should act, whether he should quit or not and more...

His thoughts; however, was stopped when he noticed someone walking in. He couldn’t identify who the person was at first for the room was dark and the only thing lighting it was the moonlight coming from the window. When the person was close enough, the first thing Taeyong saw was a pair of dark brown eyes he could recognize anywhere.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked and Jaehyun shook his head no. Taeyong then taps the space beside him asking the younger to sit. Jaehyun carefully maneuvered his way to the dark room and sat beside Taeyong.

They were sitting next each other but none bothered to talk. Not because they don’t want to, but because they couldn’t find the words to say.

“Hyung,” Jaehyun spoke, his eyes staring straight down ashamed to look at the elder. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything for you.” All the guilt and sorrow Jaehyun has been feeling for the past week are finally being let out. His sight starting to blur as his eyes brimmed with tears.

Shock would be an understatement to what Taeyong felt when Jaehyun started apologizing. He’s been busy with his own thoughts and emotions that he didn’t notice the people around him were being affected as well. _Once again he was being selfish._

“…It’s unfair for them to bring the past back-“

“Jae.”

“…I’ve known you for years now and you’re not that person anymore-“

“Jaehyun.” Taeyong called once again trying to stop the trembling boy from his rambling.

“…why can’t they see that you’ve changed-“

Before Jaehyun could finish what he was about to say, the younger was pulled by the elder in a tight embrace.

“Hey it’s okay,” Taeyong softly whispered.

“I’m sorry hyung.”

“You shouldn’t be apologizing when there’s nothing to apologize for, you did nothing wrong. If someone should apologize, it would be me for dragging you all in this mess. To be honest I think you all will be better without me.”

“Hyung.” The two slowly pulled away, eyes meeting for the first time that night. Taeyong reached for the younger’s hand and held it in his.

“I’m sorry you had to go through this,” Taeyong said. “If me leaving the band will help you out then I’ll do it.”

“Hyung!” Jaehyun protested. “Stop saying such nonsense things. No one is blaming you here. We’re a group we should be together through better and worse.”

Taeyong’s head was down. He was ashamed and couldn’t look at the younger’s face after realizing what he said was true. 

“Hyung please forgive yourself already.” For the second time that night the two were in each other’s arms, the only difference this time was that the younger was the one who pulled Taeyong towards him.

“I’ll always support you hyung,” Jaehyun muttered. “You’ll always have me.”

Taeyong then wrapped his arms around Jaehyun. He was surprised when he heard what Jaehyun said, but those words made him feel warm and happy, like a weight has been put off his shoulders. They stayed in the same position for a while, in each other’s arms with Jaehyun’s head on Taeyong’s chest, while comforting silence engulfed the both of them.

“Jae,” Taeyong whispered only to realize that Jaehyun has fallen asleep in his arms. Knowing that he won’t be able to leave the younger’s hold, Taeyong placed himself and Jaehyun in the most comfortable position he could find. Since the couch wasn’t that big, he tightened his hold on the red-head’s waist and pulled him closer refraining him from falling.

“Goodnight Hyunnie,” Taeyong said before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

 

 

A few more weeks later and NCT U’s promotions have finally come to an end. After almost two months of performing exhausted isn’t even enough to describe how Jaehyun feels. But no matter how tiring it was, he enjoyed every second of it and if he could do it all again, Jaehyun definitely would. That is why he was so excited when it was announced that he will also participate in the next unit that will debut. The new unit’s members were similar to NCT U’s; however, Ten and Doyoung would be replaced by Yuta, Winwin and their new maknae Haechan. It was also announced that his Taeyong hyung will be the leader of the new unit. Jaehyun was truly happy for the elder for he deserves the position he was given. Jaehyun believes that among all seven members Taeyong’s the most capable one of being a leader and he’s glad that their bosses could see it as well.

Since Taeyong was appointed as leader he was also assigned to take care and watch over all members especially Winwin. Winwin was one of the new Chinese members they were introduced to earlier this year. The poor boy couldn’t understand Korean fully and is in need of assistance every now and then.

Jaehyun doesn’t know Winwin that much yet but from what he’s seen, Winwin’s a sweet innocent boy thus making Jaehyun see him as a younger brother though they’re the same age. Despite his difficulty in understanding the Korean language, it would be impossible not to like Winwin.

The group has been spending their days inside the practice room again, learning the dance for their debut song, “Firetruck” and side track “Once Again.” The choreography for Firetruck wasn’t as difficult as The 7th Sense; however, it involves more complicated stunts like lifting members and Winwin doing a backflip.

Everyone collapsed after it was announced that they will be having a few minutes break. Their bodies were shaking and covered in sweat but it seems like they only realized how tired they were the moment they lied on the cold hard floor of the practice room.

Taeyong being the compassionate leader, started handing out water bottles to each member. The last member he approached was Jaehyun, he gave him the bottle and sat beside him after.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this again,” Taeyong spoke. “It’s worth it though, every sweat and pain, I’ll go through them all again as long as I get to perform.”

Jaehyun looked at Taeyong who was smiling as he spoke. The sparkle in his eyes couldn’t go unnoticed by the younger. Jaehyun has always been aware of how passionate his hyung was when it comes to performing but seeing him like this makes Jaehyun happy for him. Jaehyun feels lucky to be in the same group with Lee Taeyong and have him as their leader.

Taeyong turned his head and looked at Jaehyun, their eyes met and they smiled at each other. Times like this is what Jaehyun enjoys the most. When it comes to him and Taeyong, sometimes words are just not needed. Their moment, however; was cut by a familiar call.

“Taeyong hyung!” Winwin called from the other side of the room. Taeyong gave him a glance one last time before standing up and approaching the Chinese boy.

Since the group was formed, Winwin has definitely been dependent on Taeyong. He would often ask for Taeyong’s help or follow him and stay by his side like a lost puppy. Jaehyun would be lying if he says he wasn’t jealous. He understands though why Winwin was like that towards Taeyong that’s why it’s making him guilty as well for feeling jealous, but it can’t be helped can it?

 

As their promotion continues, Jaehyun noticed how Taeyong and Winwin became closer than before. He knows he doesn't have right to but his jealousy just keeps gettiing stronger and stronger. He envies the way Taeyong would smile at the Chinese boy. How he would treat Winwin the same way he used to treat Jaehyun back when they were still trainees. The way he would take care of the younger and give his full attention to him. Was Jaehyun really that replaceable? Or was he just delusional enough to think that he was someone special to Taeyong?

 

  
It was late at night and the group just got back from a signing when Jaehyun’s throat started itching as if something was stuck inside. He’s tried clearing several times but the lump just won’t go away.

Taeyong immediately noticed the uncomfortable state Jaehyun was in. Once he’s made sure that the other members have settled he went to the kitchen where Jaehyun was with a glass and a half-full pitcher of water.

“Were you really that thirsty?” Taeyong teased. “You okay?”

 _“I’m not,”_ Jaehyun wanted to tell their leader. He wanted to tell him how awful he’s feeling. He feels sick and hot, but he’s temperature was normal at the same time he’s feeling anxious. He doesn’t know why but he feels like something bad was about to happen. But because he didn’t want to worry Taeyong, Jaehyun smiled and nodded his head instead of confessing all those things.

Taeyong knows Jaehyun best than the other people living with them, it’s not that hard for him to figure that the younger was lying. But he accepted Jaehyun’s answer anyway, he knows that he’s not ready to share whatever’s bothering him so Taeyong respected his decision not to talk.

“Don’t stay out too late,” He said before walking away.

 

It was at the middle of the night when Jaehyun woke up covered in sweat, a burning sensation was coming up from his chest to . He stood up, which was a wrong idea by the way for he immediately felt dizzy, and silently went out the room. Weakly, Jaehyun made his way to the kitchen leaning on the walls for support.  He tried pouring himself a glass of water to drink, but ended up spilling most of it because his hands were shaking uncontrollably. His knees gave up and Jaehyun fell on the floor.

“Jae!” Ten called out, he just got back after practicing all night for Hit the Stage when he saw the younger collapsed. “Jesus Christ you’re burning up!”

Slowly he helped Jaehyun back to his feet and assisted him to one of the chairs. He took a clean towel from his bag and soaked it with water.

“Didn’t know you can get any more white,” Ten joked to lighten up the mood as he dampened Jaehyun’s face with the wet cloth. Despite making a joke out of Jaehyun’s condition, Ten was honestly worried of him. Jaehyun was paler than normal, his lips were white as well and his fingers were trembling.

Jaehyun’s eyes closed and he let out a groan. Ten immediately stopped what he was doing and observed the younger lad who started coughing. Jaehyun continued coughing while Ten started rubbing his back not knowing any other way to ease his friend. The burning in Jaehyun’s throat became worse as he continues to cough, his eyes watered as he started gagging.

Ten was taken aback and his eyes widen when something flew out of Jaehyun’s mouth. His eyes not leaving it until it fell to the ground.

“Oh Jaehyun,” he whispered.

There on the floor was a yellow flower petal.

When the burning in disappeared, Jaehyun silently made his way back to his room not even turning back when his Thai friend called for him. Once he was back on his bed that’s when everything started sinking. Its official his hyung, the person he looks up to and loves the most, does not share the same feelings as him.

“Hyung? Hyung what’s wrong?” he heard Mark’s groggy voice ask.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he replied. “I just had a nightmare, I’m sorry for waking you up.”

 _‘Nightmare, it would be better if this really was just a nightmare,’_ Jaehyun thought to himself. _“At least I can still wake up knowing there’s a chance he might love me back.”_

 

 

A few days later, Jaehyun’s doing his best to avoid Ten. Luckily both of them have been busy with their schedules and that even though they’re staying at the same place not once did their paths cross. Aside from avoiding Ten so far he’s also been successful in hiding his condition from the other members. He’s been trying to act like nothing happened; however, Jaehyun’s starting to find it hard and uncomfortable to be in the same room with Taeyong, but unlike Ten he knows he couldn’t avoid his hyung. Especially since they’re in the same group.

It was almost noon but Jaehyun was still in bed. He’s been awake for hours but he just didn’t want to get up, it was their free day anyway. He could hear the others from the living room but he’s not in the mood to mingle with them. Jaehyun decided to take this time as an opportunity for him to think.

_‘Why him? Why did it have to be him who falls for someone who couldn’t return his feelings? Why doesn’t Taeyong even feel the same way to begin with? Does he like someone else? Is Taeyong in love with someone else?’_

Jaehyun’s thoughts were interrupted when someone knocked on the door.

“I’m coming in,” a familiar voice said from the other side of the door. “I know you’re up.”

“Is there anything I can help you with?” Jaehyun asked when the person entered the room.

“Not really,” Ten replied as he sat on Mark’s bed just across Jaehyun’s. “But I thought you might be the one needing help. I know you’ve been avoiding me, I don’t know why, but if you’re embarrassed just know there’s no need to. I’m probably the only one who knows about your condition so if there’s anyone else you can talk to about it… it’s going to be me.”

Jaehyun didn’t respond, not because he didn’t want to but because he knows what Ten just said was correct and he couldn’t argue with it.

“You know,” Ten said his eyes moving from the floor to Jaehyun, “you should talk to him about it. Go tell Taeyong what you really feel.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widen at the mention of Taeyong’s name. “W-what do you- I don’t know what you’re- it’s not-“

“It’s okay,” Ten cut him off. “I know… it wasn’t that difficult to find out anyway.”

“Do the others know as well?”

“I don’t think so. Or if they do they’ve never mentioned it before. Why won’t you just tell him Jae?”

“No.” Jaehyun answered firmly. “I’m fine with what we have right now.”

“Fine? You call yourself fine? You’ve been coughing and vomiting flowers everywhere which is unusual by the way, yet you still call yourself fine?”

Jaehyun was surprised at Ten’s sudden outburst. He didn’t expect that the Thai lad would be scolding him like that. Even though Ten’s a year older than him, Jaehyun has always been the most serious and mature one between the two of them. 

“I can’t do that to him.” Jaehyun confessed. “It will be unfair and selfish if I just tell him that I’m sick because of him… because he can’t love me back.”

 Unconsciously, tears started running down Jaehyun’s face and Ten immediately approached him and hugged the younger. “It will be okay,” he whispered.

 _‘It will be alright,_ ’ Ten thought to himself as he continued calming the younger down. _‘I’ll make sure everything would be fine.’_

 

 

 “You and Winwin seem pretty close,” Ten told Taeyong as he sat beside the elder. They’re currently at the airport on their way back to Korea after staying a few days in Hawaii for a company trip.

“We are I guess,” Taeyong replied as he fished his phone out and started sending a text to his mom before they leave. “I feel like I have another younger brother I need to look out for.”

“And Jaehyun?” Ten asked.

“What about him?”

“Is he like a brother to you too?”

Taeyong was taken aback by Ten’s question. Slowly he kept his phone back in his pocket and turned to look at his friend. His brow furrowed as he stared at Ten trying to understand what his question is about, but the other wasn’t looking at him, Ten was busy observing the other people at the airport.

“Stop overthinking,” Ten told him as if he could read Taeyong’s mind. “It’s just a simple question, I’m just curious what Jung Jaehyun is to Lee Taeyong… do you know?” Ten asked finally turning his head looking at him.

Taeyong’s mouth was open but he couldn’t find the words to say. Ten smiled at him, shook his head and stood up leaving Taeyong to wonder by himself what Jaehyun is to him.  

Taeyong bowed his head down and looked on the floor. He could easily answer that Jaehyun is a friend. Someone he can actually consider as a ‘best friend.’ They’ve trained together the longest and Jaehyun’s the one who knows him best compared with the rest. He can answer Ten that Jaehyun’s like a younger brother he learned to take care of in the past few years. He could reply all those things but he doesn’t know why he didn’t.

 

After leaving Taeyong behind Ten made his way to Jaehyun. He sat beside the younger lad but Jaehyun was lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice Ten sitting beside him. The Thai lad then decided to make his presence known by linking their arms together and resting his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder.

“What are you thinking about Jae?” Ten inquired, his voice filled with concern.

“I’m doing it,” was Jaehyun’s only response, but Ten didn’t need any more explanations. He immediately knows what Jaehyun was referring to.

“When?” his voice soft and sad. As much as he wanted to stop the younger Ten knows it wasn’t his decision to make and all he can do is respect Jaehyun’s choice.

“As soon as we get back.”

Ten reached for Jaehyun’s hand, “I hope you will be happy and you won’t regret this.”

“I won’t.” Jaehyun assured him, with a small smile.

 

 

“Everyone no more going out tonight we still have a signing tomorrow, understood?” Taeyong told s as soon as they arrived in their dorm. “We all had our fun during the trip it’s time to go back to work.”

Ten raised his hand playfully and asked, “does that include me?” and everyone laughed.

“Hyung!” Haechan called, “it’s still early can we watch some movies for awhile?”

Taeyong looked at s all eyes were pleading him to say yes.

“Just one,” he answered.

 Everyone gathered at the living area, Taeyong, Jaehyun, and Yuta were sitting on the couch. Doyoung was sitting by himself on the left while Taeil, Haechan, Mark, Ten and Winwin were on the floor.

Jaehyun thought that it would be best to stay by his hyung’s side tonight since it will be the last they would spend together before he get rid of everything connecting him to the elder. His head was on Taeyong’s chest while the other has his arms wrapped around Jaehyun. It wasn’t unusual for them to be this clingy and touchy towards each other so the others didn’t mind. From his position, Jaehyun can feel Taeyong’s warmth and smell his sweet yet musky scent. They were halfway through the film when Jaehyun decided it’s better to watch Taeyong than the film Mark and Haechan chose. ‘ _At least let me cherish this last night with him. Let me look at him lovingly, one last time.’_

Taeyong wasn’t blind for him not to notice Jaehyun’s stare. He swallowed a lump in as he tried to direct his focus back to the television.

When the film ended, the members bid goodbye as they headed to their own rooms, leaving Taeyong and Jaehyun behind.

“How was it?” Taeyong asked.

“It was… okay,” Jaehyun replied earning a chuckle from his hyung.

“How did you know you didn’t even watch half of it?” Taeyong asked teasingly before changing his tone to a serious one. “What’s wrong Jae?”

Jaehyun looked up at him and slowly leaned forward. His left hand cradling Taeyong’s face while he pecked the other’s cheek. “I’m sorry hyung,” he whispered.

Taeyong’s eyes widen at the sudden contact but before he could react, the younger had already left leaving him alone and confused.

 

 

It’s been two weeks since the incident with Jaehyun and Taeyong can’t help but notice how the younger became cold and distant towards him. Jaehyun who used to be attached to his hip most of the time started clinging to other members instead. A part of Taeyong doesn’t mind since Jaehyun’s becoming closer to their other members but still, a part of him can’t help but feel jealous.

He remembered how Jaehyun ignored him a few days ago when he asked where he went. How Jaehyun brushed his hand off when he tried placing it on his shoulder. He remembered how yesterday, Jaehyun was smiling at Mark but frowned when Taeyong appeared. He just doesn’t understand why Jaehyun was being like this to him. Did he do something to upset the latter?

All Taeyong knows is that he misses Jaehyun. He missed how Jaehyun would link their arms together while walking. How Jaehyun would cheer him up when he’s down. How he would catch Jaehyun staring at him and the younger would just offer him a smile. How Jaehyun would randomly give him a hug just because he wants to. How he would lay on Jaehyun’s lap while the younger plays with his hair.

Thinking about those things made Taeyong’s chest stuffy. started itching and palms start to sweat. He rose from the bed but felt nauseous as soon as he stood up. He was feeling fine a while ago so he doesn’t know why he suddenly felt sick. He sat back on his bed when a quick burn gushed from his chest up to . Hissing from the pain, Taeyong massaged his chest in hopes of finding relief but he just found himself coughing uncontrollably.

A petal flew from and Taeyong’s eyes widen as realization of what is happening hit him. His coughing continued and so is the flying of petals out from him when a knock on his door was heard.

“Taeil hyung asked me to-“ Ten spoke as he entered the elder’s room but was cut off when he noticed the current situation Taeyong was in. It was the exact same scene he witnessed just a few months ago.

Ten immediately shut the door and walked towards Taeyong. He rubbed Taeyong’s back trying to soothe the pain though he knows his act was useless. He knows there was nothing he could do to ease his friend’s pain because he’s seen Jaehyun in the same state before. He knows there’s no way to make the pain go away. It will just stop by itself but will return after a while, _‘no wonder Jae gave up so easily’_.

It took a few mintues for Taeyong to stop coughing out flower petals. By the time it ended, Taeyong was beyond tired, his face soaked with tears and his whole body was trembling.

“You know,” Ten spoke. “He actually loved you too.”

_Loved, past tense._

“He has loved you for a long time… but I guess he just couldn’t wait any longer.”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love. In this story, both needs to be aware of what they feel in order for it to not be considered as one-sided love. It’s obvious that what Jaehyun and Taeyong have is not one-sided, it’s just that Jaehyun knew about his feelings for Taeyong way before Taeyong could realize his feelings for Jaehyun making the latter a victim of the said disease. Both were oblivious to what the other feels; however, Ten was the only one aware of what’s really happening between the two.  
> The reason why it took some time for Jaehyun to get sick is because the disease doesn’t happen in a snap. Just like other illnesses it takes time for it to spread in someone’s body, giving more time for the other person to know whether he likes the person back or not.  
> So that's it I hope you guys enjoyed this story of mine! I'll probably post some more soon.


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